Authenticity. It’s such a strong word. A word I love.

There’s a lot to be said for being authentic. You know, being true to yourself. No pretence, no false fronts, no guises, just letting your true self shine through.

I’ve been interviewing lately and someone mentioned authenticity in how they go about building relationships across the business. They were very honest in saying; they felt it was important to be authentic. It helps to build trust which in turns builds relationships. It was very refreshing to hear.

The Real You

The Real You

Quite often we struggle to show our true self. Maybe we’re worried if people won’t like us or won’t like a part of our personality. Maybe we’ve built up a front to protect ourselves. Maybe we’ve been hurt and we subconsciously protect ourselves by being careful as to how much of our self we reveal. We’re just being careful with exposing our vulnerable side. We don’t want to get hurt again. That’s quite natural. It can be hard to show our vulnerability, hard to let our guard down and be really comfortable with ourselves, regardless of how it will be received.

Being authentic is just being comfortable with the real you. We should all be proud of who we are and what we’ve become. There’s no need to pretend. You are who you are and there’s no need to be anyone else.

Why would you want to be anyone else when you can be you?

Just be yourself

Just be yourself

You’ve all had experiences, moments and feelings which have all shaped who you’ve become. The you’ve travelled has had many twists and turns. Through it all you’ve learnt about the person you are and have become. You’ve liked, loved and laughed through the journey. There’s been tears and tantrums, dramas and disasters.

You are who you are because of where you’ve been.

That’s not something you can forget. That’s not something you should forget.

That’s something you can be proud of.

That is, the real you. That is, the authentic you.

So show your authenticity. It’s probably what makes you, the unique and special you!!

How do you show your authenticity? What experiences have really shaped you?

Jen xoxo

Why I’ll never be on The Bachelor or compete for a man

It’s interesting how girls are brought up. I’m not sure about you, however I was told that I would grow up and my prince charming would find me. We’d live happily ever after. Clearly, life isn’t a fairytale. What’s more, prince charming seems to have been otherwise occupied, hence why he hasn’t stopped by to declare his undying love for me. Oh well, that’s life.

It seems that life has evolved and we now live in the age of reality TV where women compete for a man. Shows like The Bachelor, Please Marry My Boy and Farmer Wants a Wife are all about this one thing. These shows are all centred on ‘getting the man’ and winning the ‘prize’. Okay, so the ‘prize’ is his love however can you really fall in love in a situation where you are dating multiple people and have a camera watching your every move?

The Bachelor Tim

The Bachelor Tim

Don’t get me wrong. I do love reality TV. It’s just dating is hard and relationships are complicated enough, so why add an extra layer of complication to the whole situation?

I’m the first to admit I don’t do complicated very well. I also don’t think I would enjoy seeing other woman date ‘the man’. It’s kinda weird. Oh, and having to debrief with the other girls, I mean really, who wants to know how someone went on a date with ‘the man’ you’re also dating?

The other girls always seem to be genuine , lovely, nice. However, they also seem to be remarkably attractive, slim, with beautiful clear skin, fabulous hair and look damn hot in a bikini. Whilst this is wonderful, amazing for ‘the man’, for the everyday girl it’s just annoying.

I think that’s why I won’t ever be on one of ‘those’ shows. I don’t quite fit that mould. I’m a bigger than average girl whose hormones seem to rage rampant every month and therefore doesn’t really have clear skin. I wouldn’t call myself slim or attractive but I do have amazing blue eyes. My hair is curly and still growing back after I lost half of it a few years ago. But I think the clincher is that I would look DREADFUL in a bikini. I actually don’t even own a bikini. I tend to push, squeeze and shove my above average body into a one piece complete with board shorts over the top to hide my dimpled, cellulite ridden thighs. It isn’t the most appealing sight.

The strange thing about all of this, I was also taught looks aren’t everything. I know I’m a decent person with solid values. I can laugh at myself and like to have fun. Quite possibly, I have more to offer than the other female participants. However, in this stereotypical society, I will never ever be on a show to ‘win’ a man.

The Bachelor Girls

The Bachelor Girls

On the emotional side, why would I do it to myself? It doesn’t make sense. What happened to dating one person and getting to know them, just them? I can only feel ‘sort of’ sorry for ‘the man’. It must be hard having to remember several female names and all the other bits of information they tell him. It must also be hard to deal with the emotions. Let’s face it, one female’s emotions are generally enough for any man to deal with, let along multiple emotions from multiple women.

I think I’ll just stick to the tried and tested method of one man at one time. No other females (hopefully). No bikinis either.

Oh, I have plans on a Wednesday night from 7.30pm to 8.30pm. I have a date with The Bachelor. Just so you know I’m watching it for the fairytale love story. After all, that’s what I was taught. Such a dreamer, aren’t I?

Jen xoxo